Five months ago Tee and I had a baby. So you could say we’re experts at this parenting thing.
Over the past five months I’ve had a lot of time (many two minute slots) to think (vainly grasp at concepts) about things and discuss (addled 2am WhatsApps) with friends (anyone who’ll listen). I’ve read the first chapter of two books, and I’ve saved a bunch of podcasts for “later”.
Based on this deep expertise and rigorous investigation, I have:
(1) a vision for a genuine equal partnership:
- Equal labour – we do the same amount of work over the week
- Equal presence – we spend a similar amount of time with the progeny as they grow up
- Equal expertise – we are equally adept at kid-related skillz
- Equal mindset – we have the same sense of responsibility and investment and see each other as equally responsible and invested
- Sharing the mental load – this seems to be a combo of expertise + labour + mindset, but it deserves singling out. More on this later.
(2) a playbook for how we’re going to do it. Err, try. Try to do it.
The playbook is a living document – my brilliant ideas for how this is all going to work, and those I’ve actually tested during my five months (and a pregnancy) of parenting.
So that’s my starting point. Time to test those theories.