Two years ago I returned to work and Tee stepped out to do some solo parenting. Thus we moved into the second phase of our journey: Parental Leave II: Electric Switcheroo The Switcheroo is when the birth parent returns to work, the other steps out to do solo parenting. I’m increasingly vocal about the role […]
The “no reaching” rule
Every day I get thousands of letters, fruit boxes and stripagrams from AFC readers who say “why so quiet?” or “What happened to the award-winning blog on equal parenting?” The answer is simple: I broke the “no reaching” rule. When we embarked on this baby adventure, Tee and I agreed that for the first 12-18 […]
Sick days: the ultimate test
Sick days are where the rubber hits the road for equal parenting. Kids get sick, and they get sick a lot in the early stages Evidence guru Emily Oster says kids younger than school-age get an average of six to eight cold a year, which last an average of 14 days. (School-age kids have two […]
Saying yes to sleep and no to martyrdom
Early on Tee and I decided that sleep would be our #1 priority as parents. I believe it’s the secret sauce in our family arrangement. Everything is easier with sleep – feeding the baby, maintaining a relationship, going back to work, feeling human. I’ve written about this before but now, 18 months into this parenting […]
Our model for when one parent takes leave
I took 6.5 months of parental leave. I’ve previously shared how valuable it was to have Tee at home for the first two months (leave + WFH). His return to the office was the first test for our equal parenting approach. We didn’t have a game plan but used trial and error to find something […]
Shared feeding: what worked for us
It’s part II of my award-winning series on feeding! You’ve read my manifesto on shared feeding; this is how we’re doing it: Newborn phaseTee gave Buddy a bottle a day from week one. This was usually in the evening, as part of Midwife Cath’s famous ‘BBB’ routine, outlined previously. This meant more sleep but also […]
How we survived the newborn phase
People talk about the newborn phase as the hardest one to share, as parents. Best intentions come up against biological realities. This is how we approached it. Weeks 1-4: survival modeWe were both on leave, allowing us both to go all-in. We gave ourselves clear roles, as we did during pregnancy. I was the Head […]
An equal partnership means doing half the work
An equal partnership means making an equal contribution to The Grand Project – in our case, reproducing. There are three types of household labour: Breadwinning – whatever you do to pay the bills Childcare – keeping the kids alive and functioning Household work – cooking, cleaning and all the admin it takes to keep things […]
A 50:50 pregnancy – I think we got this right
The burden of pregnancy seems to fall heavily on the womb-holder – managing physical changes, attending a plethora of medical appointments, setting up the house and administrivia. This seems unfair, and I suspect it creates bad habits, establishing one person as baby expert. Yeah nah. So when got pregnant with Bud, we gave ourselves distinct […]
The starting point: 5 months of baby
Five months ago Tee and I had a baby. So you could say we’re experts at this parenting thing. Over the past five months I’ve had a lot of time (many two minute slots) to think (vainly grasp at concepts) about things and discuss (addled 2am WhatsApps) with friends (anyone who’ll listen). I’ve read the […]