So this is where my rhetoric gets a bit radical… I don’t identify as a mum. Mum is my title, it is Buddy’s name for me. But fundamentally, I am a parent. I don’t do mum things, I don’t wear mum clothes or attend mum activities. I have no interest in Mother’s Day. Mum media […]
The “no reaching” rule
Every day I get thousands of letters, fruit boxes and stripagrams from AFC readers who say “why so quiet?” or “What happened to the award-winning blog on equal parenting?” The answer is simple: I broke the “no reaching” rule. When we embarked on this baby adventure, Tee and I agreed that for the first 12-18 […]
Equal parenting is a radical pursuit
A few things happened recently that made me realise: equal partnership parenting is radical pursuit. radical /ˈradɪk(ə)l/ adjective1. (especially of change or action) relating to or affecting the fundamental nature of something; far-reaching or thorough.2. advocating or based on thorough or complete political or social change; representing or supporting an extreme or progressive section of […]
Introducing The Switcheroo
In Australia, anyone who’s spent at least a year with their employer is entitled to take 12 months of unpaid parental leave. That’s 12 months per parent. And yet caring for young children looks like a woman’s game. In the playgrounds, the playgroups, the cafes and libraries all I see is women. Only 1 in […]
Shared feeding or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bottle
In my last post I said the newborn phase was where best intentions crashed into biological realities. I think that’s partially true. However there’s scope to shift our rhetoric and practices in one key area: feeding the baby. Here in Sydney, we receive fantastic post-partum support from the public health system. Community nurses are there […]
The Problem in someone else’s words
Here’s why 50/50 parenting probably isn’t going to happen – article by Hadiya Roderique This article is a fantastic summary of The Problem. Send it to your friends. “The truth is: I’m afraid of ending up bearing the brunt of child care responsibilities. Because after a few relationships of my own, and seeing some of […]
An equal partnership means doing half the work
An equal partnership means making an equal contribution to The Grand Project – in our case, reproducing. There are three types of household labour: Breadwinning – whatever you do to pay the bills Childcare – keeping the kids alive and functioning Household work – cooking, cleaning and all the admin it takes to keep things […]
The starting point: 5 months of baby
Five months ago Tee and I had a baby. So you could say we’re experts at this parenting thing. Over the past five months I’ve had a lot of time (many two minute slots) to think (vainly grasp at concepts) about things and discuss (addled 2am WhatsApps) with friends (anyone who’ll listen). I’ve read the […]
Equal parenting has to be a conscious choice
I’ve been going back and forth about this project – whether to put words to page. Why not leave it be, marinating in my brain, served up half baked over dinner with Tee and in WhatsApps with likeminded friends. Surely this is just my obsession of the moment, grappling with a new reality, life in […]
Why we’re here
Women with children do more work – paid and at home – than their male partners. There’s research to back this up, but for now I’m going to call this The Problem. That’s a very unattractive proposition. I could, however, be coaxed into something that resembled a 50:50 split. A genuine equal partnership. Co-parenting, equal […]