I treasure my anonymity. Please protect it. It’s critical to sharing intimate details about my life on the World Wild Web. It also allows me to test ideas without fear of infamy or cancellation. If I wanted to build my brand, this would be a LinkedIn post.
I’m writing in good faith, with good intentions. Please take it as such. Our equal parenting journey is going really well. I’m delighted we’ve found things that worked for us, and proud of us for overcoming tricky problems. I don’t want to bloat each post with a thousand caveats, indemnifying myself against criticism. But I have to state up front: we’re really lucky.
Equal parenting is the pursuit of the privileged. It is not available to everyone. It’s also not desirable to everyone.
Progress starts with the privileged – people who have the resources and bandwidth to push the edges of what is possible. If rich, educated people can’t do it, who can?
Equal parenting is the path less taken – for good reason. This project is for those who can and want to do it anyway.
I’m writing about my experience. I’ll let you translate it for yours.
The research documents The Problem in heterosexual couples, with the burden falling to the mum. Instead of “primary and secondary carer” I’m going to use “mum and dad”. This reflects the evidence and my personal experience. Yes, hashtag not all men, not all dads, not all mums…
I hope equal parenting is less of a challenge for same sex partners. I don’t know enough people in that situation.
This blog is parenting style-agnostic. I don’t know how to raise your children!
This is a labour of love, not a professional endeavour. As Anne Helen Petersen used to say “please excuse any typos or weird sentences — it’s that inattention to detail that allows me to make the mental space to actually write this”
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